Q&A: How do Homeschool Moms Deal with Cussing?
"I know that this isn't a homeschool question, but I was hoping someone could help me out.
My 5 year old son has started using a pretty bad word - and I'm not sure where he picked it up (probably at grandpa's - he has cable). I think I made a *big* mistake when I responded so strongly the first time he said it - now he's just so excited that saying THAT word gets EVERYONE'S attention! What do I do? "
Answer:
Do what works. The problem is finding out what that is and then following thru with it. Every child is different and at one point or another cuss words will grab their attention. I can't even write B@#CH out on this page...how are you supposed to explain to your child how offending and powerful it can be. Understanding the power of words is important for anyone and giving your child that knowledge will only be to their benefit in the future.
Take the time to explain how words can inspire a nation, break a heart, or change someone's life forever. Use this as a homeschool lesson. Talk about great speakers that have inspired good like Martin Luther King.
Then talk about great speakers that have inspired a nation into evil like Stalin and Hitler. You can think on a smaller scale and look at the power of charismatic cult leaders. There are also entire cultures that will not speak the name of the dead in fear of disrespect. Obviously these examples are only for the age appropriate and I'm using them because of the huge impact they've had on our world. I personally wouldn't introduce Hilter or Stalin into my child's education for years to come, but you get my point! : )
Ideas from other homeschool moms!
- I agree that cable TV can be a problem - I, personally, don't have cable TV in my house for two reasons: I don't want to worry about my kid running into something that I don't want him to see and also it's expensive! I often wonder, though, if I'd be willing to deal with the perils of cable if it weren't so expensive.
But, at the same time, I don't think we should blame TV for all of our kids woes. There are many other influences on our children (from media to neighborhood kids) - but, the biggest influence is US! Maybe your son picked up the language from another kid or from a family member?
Anyway, I think the best way to stop the language is with punishment - he has to understand that when you say that word, you lose a privilege - like take away a favorite toy for the afternoon or something. It's tough, but if you're consistent, I think it will work. - Kristi
"Have you tried the Ignore it and Hope He Stops approach? It's a popular approach but one that didn't work for mine, The confront the issue and explain why it isn't appropriate worked much better for us. My son has gone thru a similar phase recently and I just told him that those words hurt people's feeling and make them feel uncomfortable and even sad. That's why we don't use them. After I talked quietly with him about it I was pleasantly surprised when this seemed to work right away. I've used this same approach to things like "duh!" Which I think is rude too. However, a friend of mine whose husband uses bad words from time to time told her four year old that only Daddy's can use those words and one day when he was a Daddy he could decide if he wanted to talk like that. This may not seem like the best way to you, and I know it threw my off at first, but it worked for her. Good Luck" - Michaela
- "I too work from home. My husband works from 2:30 pm to 1:00 am, so I have a lot of just 'mom' time at my home. With four kids,ranging from 2 weeks old to 7 years old, this can be frustrating. However, I have found a solution that seems to work for me. Our school day begins around 10 am and goes until my oldest son is done. We take breaks in between subjects or ideas to play with Dad, and sometimes Dad actually schedules playtimes. These are times when all we do as a family for that hour is play and enjoy each other. Then we get back to school work. We hit school really hard between 2:30 and 5:30 as this is the time right after Dad leaves and both the babies are down for a nap. After school, we have 'mom' time. We read, play games-just whatever we want to do. The kids must go to their rooms at 8:30, this gives me time with the baby and then work time. It is a very strenuous routine, but it works. The key is the late wake up time. Since we just had the baby, this school year will present it's new problems but hopefully the main routine will remain the same." - Layna Vann
- "I've had this problem and I've tried all the nice ways to deal with it, but sometimes I just can't take it any more. With my oldest 10 I got to that point that I actually sat him down in the kitchen and stuck a bar of hand soap in his mouth. I felt like my mother and like a jerk, but after fighting with him for six months and the other kids watching me in this losing battle I honestly got desperate. He sat in the kitchen and wrote fifty sentences for me.
'I will choose my words carefully because words are a very powerful tool and knowing this helpsme to understand that every time I say innapropriate words I am being rude to those around me.'
Writing this statement fifty times takes a long time! You can try a shorter sentence , but with all his siblings peeking around the corner I wanted it to last awhile. I'll tell you what it worked like magic. The other kids don't dare talk dirty - I hear them warning each other in different rooms about it "Shh don't let mom hear you say that because she'll make you write sentences til your hand falls off!"
I know this sounds mean but my kids know I love them and since I don't spank sometime I have to fall back into the old ways in order to get them to listen. - Jenny H.Share Your Ideas about next month's Ask A Mom.
"I homeschooled all thru the summer and loved the year round thing, but we've had a lot of family issues right now I'm kinda feeling like taking a long 3 to 4 week break. Is this a horrible idea? I'm just trying to justify a bad idea with the fact I homeschooled all summer? Any feedback on this would be great.... "